This Valentine’s Day I’m Loving Myself

I love love. All day. Every day.

In fact I’m currently in love up to my eyeballs. Seriously.

I currently am in love with two men.

Yup, two.

This will happen when you chose to be ethically non-monogamous. You can read more about that here.

Honestly I thought it would be way easier. I mean it’s love!

But with love comes listening and communicating and processing and holding space. At least the kind of love I want to be a part of.

And lately I’ve been giving A LOT.

I’m a nurturer by heart so my go to is getting all lioness when someone is in need. Especially when it’s someone I love.

My love pours out of me like a fire hydrant illegally turned on on a hot day in the sweltering heat.

For the most part this works for me. I make sure I have my boundaries, I state my needs, I am as self aware as I possibly can be.

But sometimes I get backed up.

So when I woke up on Monday morning after teaching two workshops this past weekend (one that was on my usual day off) and having a VERY emotional week filled with holding space and pushing my edges and processing my feelings I knew I needed a moment. To myself.

This year as Valentine’s Day approached I realized that I didn’t really want to celebrate it.

I didn’t feel the need. At least not traditionally.

So instead of running to the store and buying a card I could have written better myself or requesting flowers or chocolates or any other fluff that are sweet but not necessary, I have decided to use this day to love myself.

Because lately I’ve been preoccupied with how others are loving me.

I’ve been trying to control how their love comes out. I’ve been analyzing it, debating it, questioning my worthiness of it.

Oh the games we play with love.

So that tells me one thing…

I need to turn this back to myself.

I need to connect with my motives. I need to make sure all that I am giving out is pure and simply because I want to share my love. And not because I’m trying to get love in return.

Because that never works.

So on this Valentine’s Day I invite you to join me in taking a moment, if not two, to look at your own heart and remind yourself of how special you are.

How worthy of love you are.

How beautiful you are.

How loved you are.

Not because of all the stuff you do or how you look or what talents you have.

Just because you are you.

See what happens when you reorient back to yourself.

It could make all the difference.

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