The past few days I’ve been pretty sad.
Or as one of my favorite podcast hosts, Dan Savage, would say, I was “having a sad.”
And there was a very acute reason for this sadness. But remember that blog post I wrote where I said I couldn’t tell you the whole story?
Well it’s about that. So I can’t really go into detail.
But let’s just say I was sad. There were tears. And a lot of moping. It sucked.
But it was also quite interesting. How I moved through the sadness that is.
Once my emotions finally rose to the surface (and this took a few days since I tend to stay on the more positive side of things and just try to move on) I let myself feel them.
I didn’t try to make myself happy. I simply let myself be sad. While being all the other things I was- joyful, powerful, funny, a big weirdo.
And at times the sad won out. And when it did I let it.
In fact on Sunday afternoon I ate a massive plate of Annie’s Shells and Cheese to comfort me. Well I sassed it up with kale, broccoli, yogurt and parmesan cheese but still, it was decedent!
And I’m not gonna lie. there was also Chinese food on Sunday night.
But I also stayed with my practices- I meditated twice a day. I practiced yoga. I watched Rom Coms. Ok that was more self care. But I do love me some Rom Coms.
But also I did something else. I looked into the cause of the sadness. I owned my part.
I saw that in this grief I was experiencing there was actually a lot of past grief I had never really faced. So I felt that too.
And today I must say I feel much better. I know it may come back a bit. I know I may still have more processing to do.
But the feelings shifted quite a bit. Because I let them. I didn’t hold on to them with a death grip.
It’s funny because I’ve done SO MUCH work on myself. So much. Like tons. But there is always more.
There will always be secret soul crevices we didn’t even know existed.
We are like giant magical castles with trap doors and hundreds of rooms and secret cabinets and pictures on the walls that open to special rooms. That’s us.
There is always more to discover. And sometimes that discovery sucks. Sometimes it’s through grief and sadness.
But I like to think of grief as a doorway.
Sometimes when we can process, feel and move through it, it will lead us into something powerful.
So really I’m grateful for my sad. Even more importantly I’m grateful for my ability to move through it. And that ability comes form self awareness.
And that self awareness came from my yoga practice, which I am also deeply grateful for.
If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out this month’s yoga practice. It’s a practice to connect you to your worthiness and it’s super powerful. Perfect for is you’re having a sad. Check it out here.