I’m Not an Asshole. I Just Love My Body.

So this week’s blog makes me nervous…

Because I know it straddles the fine line between being thoughtful and being an asshole.

But it’s what’s on my mind this week so I’m going to try my best.

It is no mystery that many women often struggle with body image.

Societal norms around how women should look, think, feel, smell, desire etc are very specific, unrealistic and unfair, often setting women up for feeling quite shitty about themselves.

The majority of my students and clients are women so I hear about this stuff a lot.

I hear beautiful, confident, bad ass women talking about their bodies in demeaning and painful ways.

Not only does this hurt me to hear these ridiculous assessments but it also confuses the hell out of me.

Because this is NOT my experience.

I have never had poor body image.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. After that dude asked me if I was pregnant I felt bad for a bit. I tried to work out and have dope abs.

But then I lost interest and went back to not giving a shit.

I’ve also had moments of being self conscious about me feet.

I have bunions and went through this phase where I was friends with some really douchey bros who thought it was cool to make fun of me about them. I was in my twenties and liked the attention so I played along.

Again, I eventually lost interest and don’t really care anymore.

But besides those two blips, I have never worried or commiserated over my body and the way it looked.

When I was younger I was told I was super skinny. People often expressed their concerns of me having an eating disorder.

Yet this didn’t stop me from sporting a shiny black unitard for my 5th grade play where my legs looked as thin as my arms.

I remember back in my my early twenties a man at the gym was saying how ALL women hate something about their bodies. The women around him nodded their heads in agreement.

I interrupted their conversation to let them know that absolute statement was not true. I told him I loved my body.

And even now at 37 when I try on clothes in dressing rooms I often like 90% of the things I try on and usually don’t scrutinize too much on it looking perfect.

I love trying on clothes and if something doesn’t fit I don’t judge myself. I judge the product.

To be clear, I can range from a size 4 all the way up to a size 8 in my lululemon pants. And that is fine by me.

Please know I’m not trying to say I am better than anyone who struggles with body image. I don’t think that at all.

I am simply curious as to why. Honestly I do not know.

I truly want to understand why what feels like such an intrinsic part of being a woman isn’t part of my DNA. 

I considered it could have to do with the fact that my body has always fit those societal norms and so I was never scrutinized as much as some other women.

But then I look at women who have a very similar body to my own and see them struggle.

So that doesn’t feel like it.

Perhaps it has to do with my upbringing.

My mother often celebrated my thin structure even if other people tormented me over it.

It feels like something deep in my psyche that makes me feel this way.

It’s not that I ever needed to MAKE myself feel this way with pep talks and positive affirmations. I just feel this way. It’s just who I am.

But I don’t think I’m alone. I just think that it is much more acceptable to talk about how you struggle with your body than about how you love it.

When I think of all of my female friendships, we never spend time talking about our bodies. We save our breath for talking about our awesome lives.

But I’m not going to sit here and tell you to have a positive attitude about your body.

I mean yes do that, by all means. I just know that for many women this isn’t easy.

This is a life long battle.

I always like to use myself as an example. For change. For healing. For a shift of perspective.

So this week I just want to point out that I don’t think feeling bad about yourself and your body (if that resonates with you) is the only way.

I just think it’s the way society wants us to subscribe to.

But also I wanted this piece to be a call to action to those who like myself don’t have this particular struggle. I want to know you. I want to know why you think this is.

Please share your thoughts. I’d love to hear your perspective. Please leave you thoughts in the comments below.

And if you are feeling my posts then please let’s stay connected! You can do this by joining my community of fiercely feminine powerhouses and hearing all about my breakthroughs every week…

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