On Sunday afternoon while waiting for brunch I found myself in one of my favorite little shops in Philly, Anavi Boutique.
The owner is amazing and so are the clothes- edgy, sexy and powerful.
I browsed the selection of pink sequined and mustard yellow dresses and then landed on a jumper that looked part superhero, part sex vixen. Encouraged by my fiance’ I tried it on.
As I slipped it over my bare shoulders I instantly thought no way, this is far too scandalous. But then I committed and zipped it up and and realized it fit like a glove.
I’m not going to play, I looked HOT.
And then the dance began. Should I get it? Do I need it? Where would I wear it?
And I kept coming back to the fact that I felt SO damn amazing in it. So yes of course I should get it.
But then this little thought began to creep in and nestle it’s way into my consciousness. Actually it was a memory.
I remembered the commitment I made to myself not to buy any clothing until at least December 15.
I love fashion and while I don’t use shopping in that “retail therapy” sense, I enjoy shopping at small spots that have awesome finds.
Mostly I shop consignment, which means I get amazing deals like sweaters for $9 and designer jeans for $30. So it’s not like my purchases were breaking the bank. Even the piece I was questioning was under $50.
But that wasn’t the point. The point was that there are other things I want to spend my money on in the upcoming months. Like my commitment ceremony and reception and hiring my marketing team and growing my business and paying off debt.
And while I LOVED this piece and how it made me feel and really wanted it, I didn’t need it.
But that’s not why I didn’t buy it. In fact after posting it on Instagram and getting such a positive response I almost went back the next day.
What stopped me was the idea that I would be breaking a commitment I made to myself. One that felt really important to me when I made it. One that in the past I would have definitely broken.
It’s so easy to break commitments to ourselves There really isn’t anyone to hold us accountable. And if we change our minds about it are we really disappointing ourselves?
See, it’s so easy to rationalize and talk ourselves out of stuff. We do it all the time.
January 1 is right around the corner. What are new years resolutions?? They are commitments. To ourselves.
So what would it take for you to keep the commitments you make to yourself??
For me it took really connecting with the grippy, bratty piece of myself (whom I love by the way) and seeing her temper tantrum over something she wanted but wasn’t getting.
I didn’t yell at her or chastise her. I simply acknowledged her. Then I connected with the strong and power woman who made that commitment. And I let her get bigger and even more powerful. I felt her presence. I listened to her.
Suddenly I went from wanting something SO badly to realizing that if I don’t get that outfit that it would not be the end of the world.
And I realized that breaking commitments to myself is weakening my own resolve. It’s sending a message to my consciousness that I don’t value myself enough to actually see it through. And that is not something I want to do.
This isn’t to say that if you break a commitment you should get super hard on yourself and feel like crap. Don’t waste your time on that.
But I do find it helpful to remember that I have a choice in the matter. I can stick with it or I can not. That’s my choice.
So what about you? What commitments are you making to yourself for 2018?? Don’t wait until January! Please post them in the comments below and let’s keep each other accountable!
Feeling my posts?? Awesome! Then please let’s stay connected! You can do this by joining my community of fiercely feminine powerhouses and hearing all about my breakthroughs every week…