Full Moon and New Skin…

I’m just going to say it. This past week kicked my ass. 

I know it’s kind of unfair to for me to blame it on the week. Or even the full moon like I’m basically about to do.

Spiritual peeps love to do that kind of shit. It’s the moon. It’s the atmosphere. It’s the mercury retrograde.

Nope not really. It’s me.

Sure I’m going to tell you that right now the full moon is in Sagittarius and according to this fabulous article from forever conscious is calling us to birth a new perspective and a new way of being. It’s true.

And yes it totally freaked me out when I read this just yesterday after going through exactly that all week.

I’ve been calling it new skin. Because that’s what it feels like.

Like all of a sudden I have stepped into this new skin but it doesn’t quite fit and it hurts like hell and it’s SO uncomfortable but I can’t take it off because well its my new skin so I just need to walk around in it and live my life and wait for it to feel familiar. 

Let me get a bit more specific.

Last week I came into some new information about how I deal with my very BIG emotions.

With the help of my therapist and some deep talks with my partners last week I discovered that I don’t actually sit with them.

Instead I process the shit out of them, pour them onto those special ones (specifically my partners) and try to move them around all in an attempt to not actually feel them.

Last week I began to see some habits and patterns that no longer serve me. Patterns that are rooted in insecurity and fear, craving and attachment.

So slowly I’ve been watching these patterns. I’ve been breathing into the discomfort of creating new neural pathways by simply choosing not to react as I usually do.

And let me tell you it’s tough.

I’ve doubted myself.

I’ve questioned if I’m “doing it right”.

I’ve felt empowered and fierce and aligned.

I’ve felt horribly misaligned.

I’ve stepped up and showed up.

I’ve taken a few steps back.

I’ve cried.

I’ve felt really shitty.

I’ve felt amazing.

Suffering and Attachment.

That’s basically what it all comes down to, which just so happened to be the theme of the yoga class I took on Monday.

The teacher spoke about Buddha’s Four Noble Truths and how hard it is for us to sit with our suffering instead of avoiding it.

And how our suffering comes from that which we are attached to- our desires.

And how we need to connect with our desires and practice non-attachment to them which, let me just say, was EXACTLY what I had been doing all week leading up to this class.

My mind was a little blown. It felt like the Universe was saying, I see you. I know what you are doing. Keep going. Don’t give up.

Pep talks from the Universe are the best.

I think we get them all of the time but unfortunately are too busy suffering and attaching to see them.

And now we are in this full moon that is giving us support in looking at our life through a new lens.

So let me ask you…

What is your life asking you to SEE right now? What new experiences, new ways of being are longing to be birthed through you? What have you been resisting? 

I know I’m not the only one feeling this.

I know some of you are feeling it too.

For me it feels like the time is now.

But guess what. The time is always NOW.

So get present and go live it.

And let me know all about it in the comments below.