It’s Not Luck and I’m Not a Little Thing…

This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending an adult summer camp.

Think of all the things you did as a kid at camp but all grown up. It was SO MUCH FUN.

My fiance, Nick was hired as the photographer for the event so he was basically working all weekend and I mostly rolled solo.

As a result most people didn’t know we were together. I gave him the space that he needed. We’re independent like that.

So at the end of the weekend one of the counselors, upon discovering Nick was my partner said…

“He’s your fiance? Well aren’t you a lucky little thing.”

Yeah.

To which I replied…

“Actually he’s lucky too. I’m pretty awesome. We’re both lucky.”

Language is important. The way we say things creates a story that often resonates beyond the lips that speak it and the ears receive it.

I know this person didn’t mean any harm in what she said.

And sure some may think I’m over-reacting. But shouldn’t we hold each other a bit more accountable for the words that come out of our mouths?

Saying that I am lucky feels diminishing. Like I’m not worthy of the man and the love I have. So it had to be luck.

But now I take back what I said to her. Because it’s not luck.

When I thought about it for a moment I realized all the work and self exploration and deep excavation is what has attracted a relationship of our caliber into my life.

I remember the week before I met Nick I was spending some time in the Poconos by myself and did some VERY deep practices. During that time I got a few intuitive messages of what I needed to do.

One was to message this dude and tell him I couldn’t see him anymore. I literally told him I was a goddess and he wasn’t treating me like one so I needed to peace out.

And a year prior to meeting Nick I took the piece of paper I had kept on my alter during my 4 month journey through Brazil, Tanzania and India and burned it and then placed the ashes in the Ganges river.

That piece of paper had a list of qualities for the life partner I was seeking. Nick fits the bill pretty damn close.

And in the past year we both have been going to couples therapy to continue to foster love, communication, trust and to make sure we are owning our shit.

So you see, this isn’t luck.

This is consciousness.

This is magic.

This is love.

Photo by Nick Antony

This is what happens when we handle our shit and make space in our lives, our hearts and our minds for what it is we really want.

And of course I don’t think I really have  mention that I’m not little and I’m definitely not a thing.

Again, words can lift us up and they can diminish us. Well if we let them.

I chose not to let them. I chose to claim my own worth in that moment.

Our voices are one of our most powerful tools for change. May we use them mindfully.