I’m excited. Like giddy just met someone new can’t stop thinking about them the sex is so damn hot excited.
Except not.
This excitement has absolutely nothing to do with any other humans.
Only me.
Me. I’m excited about me.
Just saying that feels really good. It feels necessary.
It feels like oh shit I’m worth my own excitement. I’m worthy of putting time and energy and giddiness into myself.
Because so often my excitement (or at least this particular kind of excitement) is wrapped up in my relationship to someone else and how they make me feel.
And yes while it’s lovely get all excited about each other, we all know that shit is fleeting.
Because people are human and they will surely disappoint us. It will happen. And if we are attached to it, it will hurt.
But in this moment my joy and giddiness is around me moving forward in my life, in my career and in my purpose.
Today I had an hour long consultation to get me all set up for my Authentic Tantra sex coaching certification program in January.
I’ve been accepted into the program!!!
I completed the Tantra Mastery which was meant to prepare me for certification and now I’m on to the year long journey and upon completion I will be a certified Tantra sex coach and can apply for accreditation as a certified sexologist.
I can’t even tell you how excited, on purpose and joyful I felt when I got off the call. I felt new boo-hot-sex-giddy. You know what I’m talking about. But this has nothing to do with anyone else. This has to do with ME.
This has to do with my future and my passions and my gifts.
And in this I’m not comparing myself to anyone else. In this I am actually a beginner. Something that I haven’t been in quite some time I might add.
Something that as I approach 40 I didn’t actually think a would be again. But actually you can be a beginner whenever you want to be. Just start something new.
And I’ve got to admit, the feeling when I got off the call surprised me. It took me a moment to actually realize my enthusiasm was solely mine, for me and about me.
This particular feeling has only ever been reserved for boos and how they make me feel.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the excitement or the emotions of someone else but to get caught up in the excitement of yourself?! In your own damn potential. Well that shit is priceless.
Because in those moments we have the opportunity to recognize that our worth need not be tied up in anyone or anything else.
And even though my excitement was around something that will move my career and my own personal evolution forward my joy and bliss didn’t feel dependent on that. I was just happy. Alive. Filled with vitality.
This is possible. You are possible. It doesn’t matter how old you are, if you have a ton of kids, what you look like, what skill levels you have. Not of this matters.
Because your possibility isn’t dependent on your ability to accomplish anything. You. Me. We. Are simply possible.
I think THIS is what I was tapping into today. That simple yet profound truth.
Of possibility.