So I was dumped this weekend by someone I’d been seeing for a few months.
While done thoughtfully, it was also rather abrupt as it came directly after a lovely time together.
At first I was sad. Being rejected sucks. Especially when the reason is not feeling a spark. That may be a first. My boo’s usually have flames shooting out of their eyeballs.
But my reason for sharing this isn’t for sympathy or even empathy.
After some processing and feeling my feelings, I actually feel quite energized by the entire experience. At the same time I am holding space for any feelings that may still want to come up and be felt.
I’ve decided to share this to offer a reminder that we won’t delight everyone. And that is ok.
It doesn’t mean we are not particularly spectacular. We are. Trust me.
Still some people will reject us and really that’s their business doesn’t take away from our amazingness.
There are so many reasons we won’t feel like a fit for someone. And sometimes they don’t even have the words to really explain it.
Sometimes, it’s their own shit, their own blocks standing in the way. I know that is the case for me when I look back on several lovely relationships I just wasn’t feelings.
It really was me. Not them.
The progress here for me is that I didn’t for one second question my worth or value. That feels huge.
Sure I was sad. I liked the person and was enjoying getting to know them. But that sadness wasn’t because I doubted what a sexy, beautiful, funny, thoughtful, intelligent human I am.
When my ex broke up with me 4 days after I married my love (remember, I’m polyamorous), I was devastated. I thought I would never find someone who could make me feel like he did. But really it was ME. I was the one that could fulfill what was missing. It was never actually him.
Our worth can never truly be defined by our relationships.
It can’t be defined by who loves us or likes us. It can only be defined by us.
We are worthy of all the love, the pleasure, the abundance, the joy, the safety and the respect we seek. And we are worthy of this for no other reason than it is our birthright.
So in those moments when someone rejects us we have this beautiful opportunity to remember just who we are, what we are capable of and what we deserve.