Recently a client mentioned how society places value on women based on their sexuality. And how this can show up in our relationships and make us feel pressure to be sexual beings because it is expected.
It struck me because it resonated. I can see where this story still lives in my body, as much as I’ve worked on flipping that script.
I can feel moments where I choose to believe it. And those moments where I don’t.
So much of the work I do is helping people (mostly women and couples) release the harmful narratives that keep them stuck in a life that isn’t in alignment with their deepest thriving. And often this involves their relationship with sex.
Our relationship with sex and sexuality can be so damn complicated.
Not inherently. Inherently we are created for pleasure. Inherently we are orgasmic beings.
Our bodies are filled with nerves and erectile tissue all designed to bring sensation and satisfaction. It is our birthright.
If you need proof do just a little research on the clitoris.
When we are children we are often inspired to explore what feels good simply because it does. Simply for the joy of it.
None of that is actually complicated. It’s biological.
What’s complicated is everything surrounding sex. All the voices. All the messaging. All the judgment. All the miseducation. All the shame. All the violence. All the commodification. All the patriarchy. All the trauma.
THIS is what complicates our relationship with our sexual wellness and our bodies. This creates narratives that get tangled with our worth and suddenly a limiting belief has been born.
This shit becomes part of our consciousness. Part of our nervous systems. It gets stored in our bodies. That’s where trauma lives. We are infected and influenced by it. And that can make a sex a scary or shameful or confusing or judgmental experience.
And sometimes we don’t even realize it. It’s stealthy and subconscious.
We don’t know what we don’t know until one day we realize that sex and pleasure are WAY more healing and satisfying and connecting and beautiful than we ever imagined.
THIS is why it takes courage to actually explore our sexual nature in real, raw and authentic ways. To explore what that actually means for each one of us beyond all the conditioning, all the violence, all the bullshit and all the fear.
That is an act of rebellion right there. And it’s not easy. Because society doesn’t make it easy.
Society sexualizes women but then turns around and shames them when they choose to embrace their sexual power on their own terms. As a I woman I know this dissonance can show up and land in my body even if I choose not to believe these narratives. Even if I chose to push against them.
See, as I said, complicated. But the more we understand this the more compassion and reverence and love we can have for ourselves and our own very personal journey.
Wherever you are in your journey with your sexuality I see you you.
Whether you are wildly free, deeply conflicted, joyously curious, frustratingly repressed, consistently judgmental or scared shitless. I see you.
And I’m here to support you on this journey to unearth and unlearn and reinspire and reconnect with our own joyful orgasmic expression. THIS is why I do what I do the way I do it.