I’ve got just 4 days left of my first year in this amazing new decade and this felt like a good time to ruminate over this past year and all the power and intensity it’s held.
There can be so much anxiety around this particular decade but truth be told I was SO excited about turning 40. I couldn’t wait actually. I just felt like it would be my time to arrive. To drop into myself more deeply. To truly begin to thrive in my life in a way that wasn’t as accessible before.
And it did not disappoint. My 40th year on this planet has felt like a redefining of who I am and what truly aligns with my heart, my soul and my pussy’s purpose.
I loved deeper, came harder, and healed in a way that has felt like it’s been 10 years in the making. It’s been everything I was excited about and so much more. In this past year I’ve learned…
All Relationships Have Something to Teach Us
Even short, messy relationships can teach us big impactful lessons and that can lead us to an amazing relationship once we choose ourselves and make the space.
I had a few of those last year. And after them I felt so disappointed because they shined a mirror on the fact that my shit was still coming up and there was still more to heal.
That’s when I realized that healing doesn’t actually have an end point. It’s a non-linear journey where we must keep showing up for ourselves over and over again.
Pleasure Is Medicine
I’ve been invested in living an orgasmic life for a while now but this year I began to understand why pleasure is so damn necessary to my thriving and my healing. And it is entirely my choice in any given moment how I wish to express it, give it and receive it.
When we are experiencing states of extended sexual arousal, healthy chemicals that help us be well adjusted, balanced, loving humans (like dopamine and serotonin and oxytocin) are increased by 300-400% and all 3 parts of the brain are firing. In these moments it becomes possible to create new patterns and rewire our nervous systems.
But pleasure isn’t just sexual. It can be emotional, spiritual, sensual. There are so many ways to connect and explore our pleasure.
Attachment Styles are the Shit
Understanding ours and our partner’s attachment styles and how our nervous systems respond to stress and trauma can allow for more empathy, connection and healing in relationships.
This was a GAME CHANGER for me in my newest relationship.
We used the knowledge of how our nervous systems respond to a trigger as a way to empower ourselves and take care of ourselves. But also we realized in those moments that what we are feeling is our own shit and has more to do with our relationship with ourselves than with the other.
Then we can use our words and our hearts to be in collaboration instead of conflict. It’s truly a beautiful moment when this can happen.
Orgasms Can Be Redefined
Orgasms are actually an endless resource I can give myself. They are not always climactic or clitoral. They sometimes don’t even have to originate in our genitals.
And I am so worthy of each and every delicious one.
Our Purpose Can Shift and Change
When I am truly tapped into my purpose everything in my life FLOWS. As you’ve seen over the past few years, my purpose has shifted.
But really what has happened is that I have opened more fully to my life and in turn it has opened to me.
I didn’t actually change, I simply blossomed more fully. We are often times capable of blossoming more than we know in any given moment.
A Relationship Can Be Both Wildly Passionate and Still Feel Safe
For the longest time I feared super intense chemistry because all my experience of that kind of palpable attraction lead to me feeling wildly unsafe.
Then I did my work and learned how to resource safety from myself (aka self regulate my nervous system) and now I understand that intense chemistry doesn’t actually have to lead to a tumultuous relationship if both people are committed to breaking their cycles and doing their work.
Trauma Heals When it is Ready
Trauma will heal when we create a safe space inside ourselves. Sometimes this can take decades. But it is always possible. We are always possible.
4 comments
Hi Brittany. My name is Brittany, and I believe we are also birthday twins! I hope this new year brings many blessings and continued transformation. Much love.
Oh wonderful! I hope you had a wonderful birthday and have a wonderful blessed year as well.
Hi, I came across your site recently as I was searching for help on improving my sex life with my wife and helping with ED issues I’ve been having. I’m a 39 year old who has been having issues with it my whole adult life and thought I would see if there was some help for it. I appreciate it.
Thank you for reaching out! Feel free to schedule a discovery session to see if working with me could be a fit.
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