In the last few years the way I’ve chosen to express myself has changed. This of course is because I have changed.
My focus, my interests and my passions have shifted.
While I still love teaching and practicing yoga and the growth and awareness I’ve received over the years from this practice will remain with me forever, that is not the primary focus of my conversations, my work or my writing.
I mean, yoga is my life. It’s not a practice for me, it’s a way of being. And I’m not talking about the postures. I’m talking about the philosophies. The real shit that actually matters.
So yes that part is something I will always express and experience because separating myself from it feel impossible at this point.
But my purpose has shifted. And so has my passion.
My passion has shifted to sex.
I love talking about it. I love supporting people in thinking about it in a new, aligned ways. I love exploring it. And of course I love having it.
This is why I’ve chosen to commit this year of my life (and what a tumultuous and unusual year it’s been so far) to studying Tibetan Tantra and becoming a sex and relationship coach/ sexologist.
It feels so aligned for me. This shift of focus. But make no mistake, the tantra I’m practicing is still yoga. It’s just not the main stream yoga most are used to. It’s a form of yoga that is rooted in the 5 elements from an unbroken Tibetan lineage and the understanding that sexual connection is one of the most profound practices for healing.
And let me tell you I couldn’t be more delighted by this. I want to shout it from the rooftops. Socially distanced of course.
I am in a moment in my life where my sexual expression is a piece of myself I wish to express and share. This feels empowering, provocative, fun and aligned for me.
It’s a piece of myself that I never fully understood because I didn’t know how to navigate through the layers of shame it was swaddled in.
I danced with my sexuality for years in a way that was manipulative and disconnected. I used my looks and my sex as a means to get validation and love and safety. I didn’t do this knowingly or consciously but it happened.
And in some ways it worked for a while as most bad habits do. They work until they don’t. It’s just a matter of letting them go once we realize they are no longer working.
Little by little I’ve released those habits (I’m sure there is more to go but this feels like progress for sure) and now I’m here. Completely. In my sexual sovereignty and this shit feels amazing.
And part of my sexual revolution has been having fun and sexy photo shoots where I am able to express myself in my own sexual power in a way that feels fun and sensual and aligned. And for the most part I share them on Instagram.
I do this because it feels like a contribution towards dismantling the puritanical conditioning our society is still being strangled by and the shame that comes with it.
I do this because as a woman who just turned 40, at the peak of my sexual expression and exploration it feels empowering and also supportive to share this with others.
And I am fully aware that the way my sexuality and my body is received will vary. Some may be turned on. Some may be offended. Some may be inspired. Some may not give a shit. Some may want to save that pic for later and…
I know this. But here’s the thing.
The way someone receives my pics, my sexuality, my body on any social media platform is their business. Their experience. Their perception. It has nothing to do with me. That’s theirs.
My sexuality isn’t an invitation. By posting pics of myself in my sexual power and talking about my sexuality I’m not consenting to anything more that someone viewing them and commenting in a way that is conscious of the fact that I am a human being.
It doesn’t give anyone full reign to blow up my DMs with unsolicited fantasies. Or litter my comments with notions of what they want to do to me. Yes, both have happened. On more than one occasion.
And while most of this has been from men, women have also sent me some questionable messages as well. Like the time someone sent me a picture of her breasts. Yup. Unsolicited and completely inappropriate.
No one is entitled to my sexuality just because I’m choosing to share a piece of it but also just because I’m sharing a piece of it doesn’t mean I want anything to do with yours.
Respect my friends. Our sexuality requires it.
Boundaries. Our bodies demand it.
Consent. Its an ongoing communication.
Even on these platforms. Connection comes from remembering we are all humans who have needs and pain and pleasures and desires and by witnessing each other as fully and lovingly as possible. This doesn’t change just because we are in front of a screen.
We are still so fresh in our cultural experience of accepting and holding space for a woman’s sexuality. We’ve swung from one end of the spectrum to another. Many times. In time I hope we can land in the middle.
Balanced with understanding that women have the right to express themselves however they wish and regardless of how that is your love and respect is always required.
1 comment
Brittany, You are entering a new world and the comments you receive in response to your ‘skin’ is a result of our culture purveying ‘skin’ for what ever reason. The ‘skin game’ is objectifying the man or women. I have been exploring tantra yoga and see its value. A description of it as being sexual comes from a Western interpretation of it. Our sexuality is who we are. It is a living part of us. It is wrapped in emotions, physicality, pain, suffering, and joy. It is at one moment private and at the next public. I know when I served as a chaplain in hospitals in NY, I was stimulated by some of the relationships. A therapist explained it as a response to death; the life source pulses. I learned to accept it. I think that there are many people on the internet who go in search of a lot of stuff. Be careful, respect yourself. Follow the light into tantra yoga.
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